Thursday, April 30, 2009
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Russian Spy. Rough
Russian spy sits at table, and theres a long silence. Russian also has his index finger over his mouth, his mustache.
Russian spy:
“Do you have ze device in place?”
Random dude:
“ uh..Sure..?”
“ Whats that on your mouth?”
Russian spy:
(looks down at mustache)
“Oh, heehee, uh. that is ah, my moostache.
Random dude:
“Right...”
Russian spy:
“So you have ze device in place, no?
(Puts a big box on the table on which there sitting on)
“Here iz ze package”
Random dude:
“uh...”
Russian spy:
“Iz there a problem?”
Random dude:
“huh? oh no, no problem.”
Russian spy:
“Alright”
“Do you have...ze payment?”
Random dude:
“What? no”
Russian spy:
“You disappoint me Mr. Gibbs.”
Random dude:
“Who?”
Russian spy:
“You are, you are not Mr. Gibbs...?”
Random dude:
“No.”
Russian spy:
“You, you are sure?”
Random dude:
(nods head)
Russian spy:
“Uh..,um...you zaw nothin, Mr.”
(Picks up big box, and walks away quickly)
Monday, April 27, 2009
Saturday, April 25, 2009
Rule World
(23:08:59) Stephen: yo
(23:09:25) Stephen: whaddup?
(23:09:34) Nathan: I decided what I'm gonna do when I grow up
(23:09:47) Stephen: be an animator?
(23:09:55) Nathan: no
(23:10:00) Nathan: the ruler of the world
(23:10:03) Nathan: and I know how too
(23:11:24) Stephen: move to germany and be charismatic
(23:11:35) Nathan: no
(23:11:38) Nathan: but thats a good idea
(23:11:41) Stephen: like hitler
(23:11:45) Nathan: I gotta write that down
(23:11:48) Nathan: oh
(23:11:51) Nathan: nvm
(23:11:55) Nathan: bad idea
(23:12:42) Stephen: lol
(23:12:56) Nathan: so anyways
(23:13:00) Stephen: what's your idea then?
(23:13:15) Nathan: so I'm gonna assemble a team of scientists
(23:13:21) Nathan: and make an army of mice
(23:13:30) Nathan: and the mice will help me biuld a giant death star
(23:14:21) Stephen: why don't you get the scientists to build the death star?
(23:14:27) Nathan: then. The human race will be forced to hand over the earth to me
(23:14:33) Nathan: figurativley of course
(23:14:47) Nathan: oh, well scientists are really, biulder type peopel
(23:16:26) Stephen: you mean aren't?
(23:16:33) Nathan: so the super mice will biuld me the death star
(23:16:43) Nathan: ya
(23:17:23) Stephen: yes we are
(23:17:27) Nathan: no
(23:17:32) Nathan: thats why the mice will do it
(23:17:33) Nathan: then
(23:17:37) Nathan: I'll rule the world
(23:17:49) Nathan: then I'll have to keep every scientist on the deathstar
(23:17:54) Stephen: why don't you get engineers then?
(23:17:56) Nathan: so I won't getta rebelion
(23:18:06) Nathan: cause mice are better for that ype of thing
(23:18:22) Stephen: the mice would build a tiny death star
(23:18:29) Stephen: b/c they're tiny
(23:18:30) Nathan: no no no
(23:18:37) Nathan: they'll biuld it full size
(23:18:59) Nathan: you see I'll just tell the mice I'm biulding a super super super death star in comparrision to them
(23:19:04) Nathan: and it'll be my size
(23:19:27) Stephen: uh-huh
(23:19:42) Stephen: well, you could just get the pandimensional mice to do it
(23:19:47) Stephen: they are the smartest beings on earth, after all
(23:19:50) Nathan: either way
(23:19:55) Nathan: I'll win the world
(23:20:01) Nathan: then I'll be able to rule the earth
(23:20:22) Stephen: what would you change first?
(23:20:52) Nathan: hmm
(23:20:53) Nathan: well
(23:21:11) Nathan: First I'll formally announce to the world that I own them all now
(23:21:19) Nathan: and probably thank people
(23:21:41) Stephen: i didn't ask what you would do first, what would you *change*?
(23:21:46) Nathan: oh
(23:21:47) Nathan: well
(23:21:54) Nathan: I would change my socks
(23:21:58) Nathan: cause they have holes
(23:22:48) Stephen: you can do that without being ruler of the world
(23:22:56) Nathan: oh
(23:23:00) Nathan: either way
(23:23:04) Stephen: what would you change about the world we live in as supreme despot
(23:23:11) Nathan: well
(23:23:19) Nathan: I would probably change the worlds socks
(23:23:26) Nathan: they'd probably smell
(23:24:52) Stephen: . . .
(23:27:38) Stephen: you wouldn't end war, end hunger?
(23:30:56) Nathan: nah
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
Doctors office
Jimmy: Hey doc, tell me, tell me the problem.
Doc: Well, its not so bad, you just, you just got lisp.
Jimmy: ...
Doc: Ya, it’s not so bad you just can’t pronounce your S’s
Jimmy: What. I don’t have lithp.
Doc: Just what I thought, stage 1 denial
Jimmy: I don’t have thage 1 anything
Doc: (Pulls out a peice of paper) You see this peice of paper
Jimmy: Of courth I thee the peith of paper. I’m not blind either.
Doc: No, no of course not, but can you read what’s on it?
Jimmy: Of courth. (Starts reading paper aloud) The thellth the thellth by the thea thore
Doc: Yes, well, it acually says she sells sea shells by the sea shore.
Jimmy: Thath what I thaid.
Doc: Yes, so I’m going to just suggest you go see a speach therapist.
Jimmy: I don’t need to go thee a theach therapith. either.
Monday, April 20, 2009
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
Russian Early Script
Russian spy:
“Do you have the device?”
Random dude:
“Sure..”
Russian spy:
(Puts a big box on the table on which there sitting on)
“Here is the package”
Random dude:
“uh...”
Russian spy:
“Do you have...the payment?”
Random dude:
“What? no”
Russian spy:
“You disappoint me Mr. Gibbs.”
Random dude:
“Who?”
Russian spy:
“You are not Mr. Gibbs...?”
Random dude:
“No.”
Russian spy:
“Uh..”
(Picks up big box, and walks away quickly
Sunday, April 5, 2009
My First Poem
The string I hang from
On the tree
Holds me up
For the crowd to see
Anxiously the crowd awaited
As my reaper entered
The cheers of the crowd grew louder still
As he picked up his weapon, and centered
His arm pulled back
He steadied his aim
I heard it SNAP!
My whole body in pain
The crowd was pleased
The second time round
He brought the stick up
And SMACKED it back down
Again I heard the CRACK
And I gave a yell
I saw him smile
As I fell
The crowd celebrated
And ran to my side
But not for guilt
But to look what’s inside
The greedy pigs
Took all they oughta
Because it was candy
And I’m a Piñata
-Nathan Shaw
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