Lawn Mower Mayhem

Lawn Mower Mayhem

By JeffZHigs

Chapter 1: Haggis

13 years ago, in this very room. An old guy named Haggis, haggis got so mad at all there little children who laughed at his funny name. Haggis is a funny name if I didn’t tell you. So this guy was mowing his carpet one morning, and then he ran over his foot. Big pains hurt his foot.

Chapter 2: Amputation

The doctor operated on Haggis’ foot, his foot still hurt, but they put and end to that.

Chapter 3: Funeral

Haggis died.

Chapter 4: Ghost

Haggis comes back from the Ford Dealership (Oops, I meant dead). Haggis scared the heebie-jeebies out off that kids that made fun of him. Haggis was stupid.

Chapter 5: Morale

Don’t name your kid Haggis.

Short Story 3

Phone Book 3.0:

Behind the Scenes of Phone Book 2.0

A JeffZHigs Story

Chapter 1: Inspiration

To tell the truth I forgot how I realised that writing a sequel to the famous Phone Book was why I was created. It was my purpose in life. Writing a sequel to such an amazing book was a challenge, but I believe I pulled it off.

Chapter 2: Why a sequel?

Cause I can.

Chapter 3: Reference Page

I have a confession to make, This is actually a sentence.

Chapter 4: Cookies

I did plan to make the Phone Book 3.0 to come with cookies, but we all can’t make are dreams become awsomer eh?

Chapter 5: Glossary

1. Truth- It’s like when you realised that Santa got killed in a freak circus accident
2. Can- It’s what pop comes in
3. Chapter 3- The beginning of a new era. Well actually it’s not.
4. Sentence- When the circus freaks got put in jail for killing Santa in an “accident”
5. Glossary- You should have realised this by know.
6. Era- I dunno. It sounded cool at the time.

Chapter 6: Bibliography

This may be hard to believe, but I didn’t need to spell check bibliography. I’m a great guesser.

The End

Short Story 2

The Phone Book 2.0

A story written by JeffZHigs

Chapter 1: My Phone Number

JeffZHigs: Private Private

Chapter 2: Index

JeffZHigs: Page1

The End

Short Story

Ya, I decided one day to write a novel, and then the novel was over and It was done. So I decided to post it:

William Shakespeare #2

A story by JeffZHigs

Chapter 1: Day one.

I was born.

Chapter 2: Day two

I celebrated my one day anniversary of my birth.

Chapter 3: Eight Days Later

I realised that I wasted ten whole days of my life.

Chapter 4: Two Months Later

A month and a half passed by. Well that plus another half.

Chapter 5: First Birthday

I turned as much as my IQ was at the time.

Chapter 6: Font

I found the font controls for the computer.

Chapter 7: Sixth Birthday

I turned six.

Chapter 8: Pencil

I dropped a pencil sharpener on my foot.

Chapter 9: Nose

I broke my nose while riding a bike.

Chapter 10: book

From this point on in the book, you will not be reading chapters that have only one digit.

Chapter 11: book

Told you…

Chapter 12: epiphany

I realised I should write a book about my life. Setting a goal of one and a half pages.

Chapter 13: Watch

I realised that the time was 4:58.

Chapter 14: Realisation

I realised that my goal was complete. I smiled looking over the print preview.

The End

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